AN INCIDENT THAT SHOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED.

Okay, So it was 2018. I was 19 years old. I was a type of shy and innocent guy. I barely talked to girls in my school time. So, I was in 2nd year of college. One day my childhood friend came to my home and told me that her neighbor aunty want a chemistry home tutor for her daughter. She was in class 12th. I used to teach some boys but had never taught any girl before. Somehow I agreed to teach. I started to go to her home to teach her.

Everything gone well for one month. But after one month she started touching me at wrong place. Sometimes she used to touch my bare feet with her bare feet. I didn't say anything. I used to ignore her as I was teacher. I told this to my friend and he said abhay just grab the opportunity she might be in hunger, I couldn't understand. One day she told me that she has a boyfriend and her name is also abhay. I got jealous, may be it was a sign of falling in love. I asked her fb I'd. And she told me that her father beated him because he caught her with him and she ran away from house. We began to chat daily on FB all the time. But I still didn't know what love is. She used to tell about her boyfriend and I used to get jealous. I thought I should convince her to break up with him. So whenever I used to go to her home, I tried to motivate her that all these things are useless. You should leave him otherwise you can't get good marks. So she broke up with him. Her boyfriend began to giving me threats. Ok we kept on talking on FB.

Everything was going well, she used to touch my cheeks like I was a kid. Everyday she used to do that. One day I also touched her cheek and her mother saw us. I went home but somehow she handled it as he Did nothing and don't think bad about him, he is a good teacher. Her parents began doubted on me. They asked me to teach their son also who was in 9th standard. I agreed. He began studying with her. And now it became difficult for me and her to flirt and play.

And one day she confessed me that she liked me and my words. I also confessed my feelings to her. she even asked me that would you marry me. I thought she is nibbi. But actually I was a nibba. And one day when I was teaching her, she pulled my collar and kissed on my cheeks.(her brother was not there) I was like what had happened. I got very shy. Now I also wanted to kiss her. And she asked me to kiss her now and lean her face forward. I didn't had the confidence to kiss her, I tried to kiss her on cheeks but failed. But somehow I managed to get confidence to kiss her and I kissed her on cheeks. I got very shy. My heart was pumping badly. I was not being able to control my blood circulation. I kept both my palms on my eyes and sat with shyness for sometime. Then she made me comfortable around her. At that time, She also had some chocolates with her, may be she wanted to do liplock. But I couldn't understand why she is having chocolates. She went shy and went to bathroom and didn't do anything after that. I immediately went to my home. My feelings became strong for her. That day I texted her that I want liplock. she told me that why don't you start first. I said that I'm a shy and innocent by nature and I don't have the confidence for this . Then she promised me that she will definitely do it with me. But she had experienced with her previous boyfriends, she had done liplock in the past. So she knew that he is a newcomer and it would be difficult for him for liplock. And one day she managed to touch her lips with my lips but no liplock.

So my SSB interview date had came. And I had to go to coimbatore. I went with my father. And we went from kerela express (new Delhi to thiruvananthapuram). I got many candidates there like me in the train. But I was not in the mood for interview because my mind was there in her memories all the time. I had to live for 5 days far away from her. As a result I couldn't been able to qualify the interview and I got fired in screening round on day 1. I got very upset as I was always a intelligent guy since childhood and never got failure in life. This was the first failure in my life. But who cares, as I wanted to go to her home as soon. When I came back to home. I immediately went to her home to teach her. And her brother was not there. She gone emotional over me and told me that she missed me so much. And she kissed me on my hands and cheeks. And that day I also kissed on her hands and cheeks. I was feeling aroused for the first time with her and she knew it. It was special moment for me. Anyway I came back to home.

And that day I felt asleep while chatting with her on FB and my sister read all the messages. Now the biggest nightmare was about to start in my life. She told to my parents about this. And they took my mobile from me and didn't allow to go to her home from now onwards. I didn't went for one day. But another day I told her about the incident and told her that I won't be able to come from now. But she told me that what she would tell to her mom why you are not coming. So I decided to go to her home. Everyday I used to go to college but instead of going college I went to her house to teach her. But still liplock didn't happened she used to to touch her lips on my lips daily. That fascinated me. It happened for 3 days I used to go to her home like this instead of going college. One day my parents chased me, and caught me at her home and told to her mom about us. And her mom was saying I already had a doubt on him. So that liplock never happened. Ohh god. (shattered the emotions completely :))

Then she barely started coming online to chat. We started chatting very often. After one month my mom became ill as she was like paralysed from legs. But after few weeks of treatment she got recovered. One day she told me that she got attracted to a boy who was her classmate. I said but why. I love you but why are you doing that. She told me that you take care of your mom. And she left me. And made a new fb I'd. one month later I found her new I'd. And cried a lot in texts, like I love you why are you doing that but she told me that I don't like you anymore. Just stay away from me and my shubham. She blocked me. Ranjit bhaiya told me that she was a thirsty girl that's why she did this with you. she used your feelings and murdered your feelings. she only wanted to satisfy her lust with you. But my mind wasn't ready to accept all this truth.

I became a comic character among my all the students. I was always a padhaku baccha. All this bakchodi was not my cup of tea.

Since then I became an introvert and inferior guy. Because I don't have trust on anybody now. I remained abnormal for 2 years. 4 years passed of this incident but still I felt for her. I had true feelings for her. But she was dishonest.

True people always gets playful one.

Edit: I get panick attacks sometimes as she comes into my night dreams occasionally.

I reasearched about this and got to know that some memories remains into our subconscious mind and it keeps reminding you time to time, it lasts forever you cannot do anything in that.

ROCKSTAR ABHAY

Search This Blog

Why don't boys move on easily after a breakup even a decade later?